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Thank you, thank you. No, really, I know you love me. Tonight my guest will bring you a new perspective on the Mario Brothers games, from someone who really hates them. May I present Bowser, King of the Koopas!

BW: You can say that again!

RW: What, the part about you hating Mario games?

BW: No, the part about presenting me.

RW: Okaaayyy...Why do you hate the Mushroom Kingdom so much?

BW: Do you really wanna know?

RW: You can tell me! Is it that annoying Princess? What about those invincible plumbers, eh?

BW: I'll tell you the truth. It's those little clouds.

RW: CLOUDS?!? Millions of sequels and spin-offs because of CLOUDS?

BW: Those little happy faces always seem like they're looking at me. I can't handle it!

RW: They are looking at you. They look at everybody.

BW: Hah, I knew it.

RW: Why did you build your killer machine in Super Mario World with a huge smiley face?

BW: My kids painted it on as a joke. I grounded those little tykes for the remaining sequels when I found out.

RW: Oho, more inside information! Let's get right down to it. Why does Mario always beat you?

BW: I don't know! Nothing I do seems to matter. He ALWAYS WINS!! I JUST GET SO MAD!!!

RW: Whoa, big guy. Don't go ballistic on me.

BW: I've come to a point where I'm scared to death of plumbers! No matter where I go, they always seem to have me figured out!

RW: Uh oh. Maybe I should have canceled his appointment.


RW: Look, it's not my fault you clogged the studio toilet. I could plunge it for months and not get anywhere.


PLUMBER: Hey guys. How's it goin'?


RW: Boy, he really is scared to death of plumbers. At least, I hope he's not dead. See you next time on Ringwald the Hamster!