Wow, what an applause! Thank you! I don't deserve it,
really. Well, Star Wars celebrities have been so popular
lately, that I have taken the personal risk of
interviewing Darth Maul.
RW: So, you getta load of the chop-in-half scene at
the end of the movie?
DM: Growl...
RW: Let's get right down to the meaty stuff. Why did
you make the career decision to be an evil Sith Warrior?
Did you just say when you were a little kid: "Boy, I
wanna be a wicked, ruthless incarnate of the Dark Side
when I grow up!"
DM: I wanted to be a Jedi 'till I saw those cool black
pants.
RW: Another great issue? Why do all the evil Jedis get
good taylors?
DM: Growl....
RW: And how about that double-sided lightsaber? How
much power does that puppy use?
DM: I hack down about eight or ten little pink bunnies
a month.
RW: Wow. If you Dark Sith guys are so great, why can't
you just power it with sheer will?
DM: Growl.....
RW: Hey, don't raise that lightsaber at me!! Don't you
know Yoda taught me the force?
DM: GROWL!!!
RW <Holding up a picture of Anakin Skywalker>:
Ha, take that!
DM: AAAAHH! Someone with more than FIVE LINES IN THE
SCRIPT!
RW: Ouch. His horns just inverted and caused a
seizure. I guess you need to respect the director's call.
See you next time on Ringwald the Hamster!
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